Plans

Everyone seems to have a plan for my life. Except for me. Everyone seems to have decided that I would be a great teacher. I might be...but today while I was listening to someone tell me about how someone else said that I should be a teacher, something in my heart said "don't let other people tell you what you should be". It's happened before. I've done stuff because other people expected me to or because they thought I would be great at it. And sometimes it was great and sometimes it wasn't. But I need to stop relying on others to plan my future for me especially because they aren't really trying to plan my future. They're just casting out ideas that occur to them. They have no idea of telling me what I should do. It's just their ideas. But I've been so used to just following people's expectations that it's a struggle to not. I know that whatever I do, I won't disappoint the people who care about me most. I know what a blessing that is and I love it.

I feel like most of the other seniors around me have their plans for after college figured out. I'm still just floating along, kind of avoiding thinking about it. But I need to sit down and figure out what I want to do...what I want to do, not what other people think I would be good at. Do I want to go to grad school? If so, what for? Do I want to teach? Do I want to teach because I want to teach or is it because of what others think? Do I want to join the Peace Corps and go to Africa? Do I want to join the CIA? Do I want to go teach English somewhere in Asia? Do I want to go teach in inner city London? I just don't know... I need a couple of free hours (or days...) to sit and think and all that... But with this crazy semester, I guess I'll have to be satisfied with a quarter of an hour here and there.

On a completely different note, me, my mom, and one of my brothers went to the fair today. The first thing we went to see (like always) was the horses. That is always one of my requirements in going to the fair. We go watch whatever show is going on in the ring (today it was 6-8 year old kids and then under 5 kids) and then go out back and explore the stables for a while. We saw a lot of American Saddlebreds and a couple of Hackneys, but the treat was coming upon a one year old Arabian filly! She was really pretty and very restless. It was great to get to see the little kids riding around the arena and it was fun to get to see so many pure bred horses and just get to see horses in general.

I'm tired and I have to study for my two tests this week otherwise I would tell you about the fair. Maybe I'll tell you about it tomorrow or after Tuesday when I'll be done with my tests (but I'll be getting started writing the 3 papers and studying for the test that are all the week after). Ugh... pray for me...that I'll make it and that I won't get sick...I don't have time to be sick this semester...